Letter to his son Spencer Levan Kimball
[Note: Levan was beginning to distance himself from the Church at the time and eventually became atheist. His father was deeply concerned and used this missive as a means of trying to fortify him in the faith. Slight editing has been done for readability.]
August 12, 1948
My beloved Son:
Last night was another of those many interminable nights when there is restlessness and sleeplessness for both the mind and body. The distress came about four o’clock yesterday and persisted unabated into the night. There have been many such nights in the past three months. And I have done much thinking. Sometimes I feel good and optimistic, then when these spells occur I get quite discouraged. It seems that my distress has been far greater the past three weeks than it was at first, certainly it is more prolonged, and it leaves me sleepless and wondering and thinking. And my thoughts seem to center around my children and my program of life. Having experienced parenthood [yourself] for many years now, with its joys and worries and fears, you will begin to know a little of what I mean. You will come to feel more intensely as the years roll on.
In your last letter you said that though there had come to be differences in our thinking that you still had high regard for me. This I appreciate greatly. But I am wondering what those differences are. You have not said nor written so much of late concerning your philosophies as you used to do and I do not know just what you are thinking. But there have been little evidences of the loss of enthusiasm on your part concerning the program [gospel] which is to me transcendently greater and vastly more important than anything else and all else in this world. And I have wondered how far you have permitted your personal ambitions and your political philosophies to dampen your ardor for the Kingdom and blind you to your responsibilities. Perhaps you may resent me writing you thusly, but as I have lain awake alone hundreds of long hours in the still of the never-ending nights I have done some pondering and thinking and have felt that if I failed to properly impress upon you your duties and responsibilities any deviation on your part would be much my fault, but if I did all I could to warn you, then at least a greater part of the responsibility would be yours.
Sometimes we get exaggerated opinions of things and false values are set up. Acquisition of knowledge, though basic and most important in the church, sometimes is given inappropriate emphasis. Sometimes we worship degrees and the holders of them. Sometimes our employment or profession looms up ponderously, and sometimes social life or political ambition clouds the field. But always the evil one in his satanic shrewdness knows where to find the vulnerable spot of each of his intended victims.
Son, there are things temporal and things spiritual. The temporal will pass away—only the spiritual eternal things will remain. Degrees given by mere man will be forgotten, universities will crumble, nations will come and go, positions and honors will fade and the many things which seem so important to us mortals may shrink into insignificance. Political parties and their philosophies may flourish and succeed and benefit or damage mankind, but they, too, will pass. There is but one thing which transcends all and continues through the eternities. It is basic. It is absolute. It is pivotal. All else that is good hinges on it. And one is positively building on the sand who constructs his structure on anything else than this. There is a time and place for all good things; but they must assume their proper place in the scheme of things or carry their proponent down to disappointment and failure.
The Church is the kingdom, the Gospel is Divine. It is the true and only program [gospel] of exaltation. It will continue [for]ever. It will flourish as all man-made institutions dwindle and pass away. We leaders of the Kingdom are human. We might all go afield individually. We may not always give to the Lord’s program exactly the perfect interpretation He would wish given, but the Gospel is still Divine and the Church is Divine. Maybe the other brethren of the past, present and future, permit some degree of selfishness to enter their work as I must [inevitably] do; maybe they and we fall short of a complete communion which would give perfect wisdom and understanding, yet the Gospel is still the Eternal Plan, and the Church is still the product of the Maker of this world.
Wise and prudent men can differentiate between the weaknesses and humanity of a Peter and a J. Reuben Clark and the organization which they give leadership. Smart people can always see the difference between the Divine organization and the human leaders of it. Were it not so it would be tragic. One of the things which has worried me most in the past five years is that thousands of people in the Church are measuring the Church, their Church, by me, one of its leaders. They look at me with my smallness, my ineptitudes, my weaknesses, my narrow limitations and say ‘What a weak church to have such weak leadership’. It is one of the things that has brought me to [lying on] my back now. I have felt my smallness to such a degree that I have tried by increased hours of study and application, but a double expenditure of energy, to make up and measure up. Again I state, the Lord has to use imperfect beings to man His Church, because, so far there seem to be no other kind.
It matters not what it is, whether wealth or ease or comforts; social or intellectual or political power; pride or egotism or conceit; eats, drinks, or the flesh—all these are of this world and will pass away, but service and devotion and faith and self-sacrifice to God and His kingdom brings never-failing dividends up to and on through the eternities. Why can’t these two billion people (or three) see these things. Why cannot this million [church] members see? Why must the majority of the members ever be following bubbles in the air, ever wasting their time seeking the ‘pot of gold’ at the end of the never-to-be-found rainbow? It is so elusive! It is here, then it is there, then it is nowhere.
God said “Thou shalt not have any other Gods before me.” And He meant it. It didn’t mean only the one golden calf which was already molten and standing in the congregation of the Children of Israel. It meant all things which are worshipped in heaven or earth or sea. He undoubtedly meant all the things I have mentioned and many more: dress, pleasure, flesh, food, drinks, power, honors, ease, money, public acclaim, freedom from restraint, etc., etc.
Now, my dear boy, I do not know to what extent you have deviated, if at all. I know only this, that there are errors of omission and those of commission. I know too that the former are very often the cause and precursor of the second and the cause of the loss of Faith. Testimony comes from the Holy Ghost. It comes to and remains with men in the line of their duty. It will not remain with those who falter indefinitely “…for my Spirit shall not always strive with man, saith the Lord of Hosts.” Almost always the beginning of trouble is INACTIVITY, often followed by criticism. When one becomes slack in his duties there always seem to be so many excuses and justifications one can find and often they are closely tied to criticism of people or policies or interpretations.
The Gospel is all in all and you cannot afford to let anything or any combinations of things upset your equilibrium and wean you away in any degree from full activity. If ones testimony has become a bit vague and nebulous, all it will take is a great sincerity and a total activity to bring it back. The Lord will not force it upon us, neither will He even give it without our desire. ‘Ask and ye shall receive’ but in the asking must come a total allegiance and a complete surrender. A Mrs. O. on the verge of Apostasy recently said to me: “In my prayer I told God: You give me a testimony, and I will serve you.” And I explained to her that she would never receive a testimony in that manner. The Lord was not going to be cajoled or forced into giving a testimony. She must prove herself. “…wherefore, dispute not because ye see not, for ye receive no witness until after the trial of your faith…”
My dear Son, you have a tremendous responsibility. You have a sweet little wife who, I think, would follow you wherever you go. You might be willing to jeopardize your own future—but what of hers? Quite a responsibility! And what of the children? Are you willing to take the responsibility of letting them grow up outside the pales of the Church and the sinister results that can follow? The thought and action habits of their lives are now being formed. Now, not 10 years from now. If through carelessness on the part of you and Kay in these days, those girls should fail to reach the heights to which they are heir, if they should grow up in the world and partake of the world, what then? I promise you that you will have some agonies through long silent nights and nightmares from which you will wish you could awake. The responsibility is awful. And their life-mates, and their children, and their children’s children. ‘Unto the third and fourth generations, of them that hate me and showing mercy unto thousands of them that love me and keep my commandments.” You can’t wait till tomorrow—till they are a little bigger—till they are old enough to make decisions for themselves.
Dear children: may I implore you, beg of you to ‘seek FIRST the Kingdom from this moment. Let your school work, your travel, your exams, your everything take second place. Immerse yourselves back into Church work as you have in times past at your best. Wear your garments with a grateful heart for the wealth of meaning there and for the rich promise to you through the faithfulness of which they should remind you. Night and day a remembrance of exaltation, [the] eternity of marriage relations and family ties, and of the possibility of Godhood and eternal increase. Baptism, ordinations, temple marriage, etc., give no promise of anything unless followed up by continued activity and worthiness.
Your family prayers can be staggered night and morning between four of you now, and the children learn something of eternal value to them. Nothing should be so important to you as to see that their prayers are said and the meetings provided. A trip into London every Sunday would be justified to ensure a religious life and a Sacred Sabbath for your family. Neither the time nor the transportation cost should be given a second thought. Or you could have your own little Sunday School and Primary for your own family, without fail and carried out religiously and formally. You could be doing considerable missionary work and become the nucleus for a branch perhaps. It is no more difficult to pay tithing and fast offerings in Oxford than in Cape Town or Mexico City. The little weekly home evening could be a great blessing to your family, with perhaps a little more religious teaching therein than we used to have, this to compensate for the lack of community and organization teaching for the children. In short, you can live the Gospel, be fired with a burning testimony, focus your activities in a wholly unselfish way toward the spiritual development of your family, all this in Oxford, and all this if you can see that it is that important.
I hope you will know that my only interest in writing this letter is you. I shall probably never write another such letter. I may never write another letter. I do not know. I only know that I shall be able to rest and sleep a little better knowing that I have tried—tried to encourage you back to full and enthusiastic and unselfish and total activity. Life is so short. You are already in your thirties. Only tomorrow you will be in my shores on the decline side of the peak, past middle age, your children grown, married and independent in thought and action of their parents. Then it is [too] late. You will appraise your work, your results, and if they are all good you will be tranquil and happy; if they are disappointing it will be [too] late to rectify.
Be wise and sagacious, my children. Take a careful inventory and see wherein you might model your family lives more nearly like that of the Master’s. I realize how easy it is to just ‘rock along.’ I know how difficult it is to hold the home evenings, the family prayers with regularity. I know it is not easy to organize a single family unit in church service, but I know many isolated families have done it and it has paid big dividends. I knew a family in the sticks of Missouri with a large family of girls, living wholly in the world, all outside associates. He was Superintendent [president] of the Sunday School, she a teacher, one of the girls organist and so on, and year after year they never failed. The Elders came in occasionally but the family carried on. Today, I believe that 7 of the 8 girls are happily married in the Church with sons on missions and I am sure it was largely due to the perseverance and dogged determination of that couple to give to their children, so far as possible, every advantage that girls in Zion had.
Maybe I haven’t said the right thing. Maybe it has been written not quite as it should have been. Maybe I should not have written you at all in this vein. But I repeat that of these hundreds of sleepless hours I have prayed for my children and tried to appraise my work. I have realized that I have fallen far short of being an ideal Father. If my children have weaknesses or careless tendencies, undoubtedly I am much to blame. I am willing to accept the blame. But I am not willing to go to my grave without further effort to warn in the spirit of loving kindness and helpfulness. Please know my heart is right. I am not accusing; not destructively critical. I am trying to help you. Think seriously, pray about it earnestly, throw yourselves wholly into this great Cause unselfishly, letting all else be second to the Gospel.
[Some unrelated personal health info of Elder Kimball not reproduced here.]
Again I profess my love for you, son, and your peerless family. Again I express my pride in you and our faith in your limitless possibility for good. Your exceptional abilities and powers are needed so much. Please accept kindly this parental effort.
Affectionately your father,
[Spencer W. Kimball]
Excerpt from letter to his son Edward, March 2, 1957
I leave with my children and others my testimony. I know. How more completely could I know anything? I know that it is true and divine. And as I face the end of my days I say it again and again without fear and in total honesty. I know that it is true. That God lives; that Christ lives; that Christ is our Redeemer and Savior; that revelation is a reality in our own day; that revelations have come not only to the great Prophet Joseph Smith, but to all his successors and associates. I know that I myself have received revelations from my Lord and I have been guided many times more in waking hours than in sleeping ones and that my associates have also been so blessed. I know too that this is the saving gospel and only through it and the Atonement of our Lord can any person return to our Heavenly Father in exaltation. This I know. And so it is. And I bear this testimony and witness in the name of my Lord, Jesus Christ.
[Spencer Kimball]
Letter to someone struggling with faith and church activity
[Note: Undated but ca. April 1951; transcribed by Dennis B. Horne with very minor editing for readability; Original found in CHD archives here.]
Dear [redacted]
Since our visit last Sunday evening I have thought of you a great deal, and should like to relate to you the thoughts which have come to my mind.
I continue to feel that you are wasting much of your energies and your abilities. The Lord has richly endowed you with strength and power and you could be doing great things in His Church and Kingdom.
It pleased me to know that you are still concerned about your membership in the Church, but I want to reassure you that your baptism means nothing unless you continue to live the commandments. Also by the same token, your ordination to the Priesthood means nothing to you—only condemnation—unless you live the commandments. Read Matthew 25 concerning the wise and foolish virgins, and we may apply it to ourselves. One will never, never reach celestial kingdoms, unless he lives celestial laws, and one can never enter the highest realm in the celestial world unless he does so with his wife who is sealed to him by the Holy Order of the Priesthood, or Celestial Marriage. No unclean thing can ever enter the Kingdom of God in the higher realm, which means we must overcome all our weaknesses and become perfected.
Baptism, ordination and even celestial marriage, will not save nor exalt any man, but only opens the doors to the kingdom. Man must save and exalt himself with the help of his Heavenly Father.
There is no question but that the time will come when you must bow the knee, and when you will want very much to live the commandments, but why delay? The question is “when” not “if.”
It looks like your father was going to procrastinate the day of his salvation until after his death. Some of your brothers and sisters have had serious problems and need help. Why do you not now stand on your feet, develop yourself, and do all of the many things which will give you a place of leadership in your family and help to save your own father and your brothers and sisters? There is much to be done.
When excommunication came to your father, it lost for him his Priesthood and the powers thereof, his membership in the church; it annulled his marriage (his eternal marriage) and separated from him his wife and his children. Not any one of his many children are his, nor do even his two legitimate wives belong to him today. His children are all orphans in the sense that he has no claim upon them. You could do much about it.
As I told you last Sunday night, I think you have unusual powers, latent within you. Perhaps you were born for that very purpose, to be the sealing, welding factor in bringing this family together and saving and exalting them. Perhaps you would have more influence with your father than any of his other children, at least you could help them. If you fail your responsibility through your own weaknesses and unwillingness to accept responsibility it will be a sad day for you.
Now, because of my interest in you and in your family, I urge with all my powers to do so, that you immediately begin your activity, attend all your meetings, your Priesthood meeting, take your wife and children to Sacrament meetings, cleanse you lives, repent in ‘sackcloth and ashes’ of any sins you have committed, use your influence with your brothers and sisters and father, magnify your Priesthood, take care of temple work, bring your wife into the church and see that your children are not eternal orphans, do the work for your brothers and sisters so far as it is possible. Procrastination is a crime. Read the book of Enos. Read 2 Nephi 27 and particularly chapter 28; give special note to verses 8 to 14 and to the end of the chapter. Read Mosiah 4:14 on to the end. Read Alma 34 with special emphasis on verses 32 to 35. After you have read these I cannot believe you will delay another week before you begin your total repentance and adjustment and activity.
God will hold you accountable for these talents with which He has so richly blessed you, and for these opportunities which He has thrown into your path, and if you fail! If you fail! Now go back and read 2 Nephi 28 again, and be sure you do not justify nor rationalize; apply it to yourself. I am writing this for your good, and only because I have affection for you and your father’s family.
May the Lord forgive you if you continue to ignore this tremendous responsibility you have, and I know He will bless you as you begin to throw out the yokes of bondage that are upon you and begin to think clearly and come out of your frustration, and completely and totally and unconditionally, surrender to the Spirit of the Lord and to the program which He has given us.
May the Lord bless you, and with kindest wishes and affection,
Sincerely [Spencer W. Kimball]
Letter to “Mary” giving an introductory explanation of the temple presentation
[Note: Letter transcribed by Dennis B. Horne, with very minor editing for readability.]
May 1957
Dear Mary
I am so glad that you are going to the temple for your endowments. This is a good thing to do and you are wise in making up your mind now. I am very proud of you and your activities. I am sure that your Relief Society work has brought you joy and satisfaction and you have undoubtedly influenced others for good also.
The temple program is not easily understood. You may not fully comprehend the service at first. I have been going to the temple now for 43 years and there is much I do not yet fully realize and comprehend. It is the program of our all-wise Father in Heaven and it is limitless in scope but if we return to the temple often and think and pray and ponder it opens up to us and we come to understand a little more all the time.
There are two main purposes in one’s going to the temple. Like baptism is an essential to membership in the Church and God’s kingdom on the earth, so also is the endowment necessary for entrance into the kingdom of Heaven. Also in the temple and during the 2 or 3 [now 1] hour session we get a glimpse of the creation of the world and the purpose of our being in this world and how we can by righteous living become like our Heavenly Father and His Son Jesus Christ.
In the temple [presentation] we make covenants or promises with our Heavenly Father—promises that we shall continue to live worthily all the laws of His kingdom. We make promises that we will keep our lives clean and free from sin, that we will give our time and funds for the building of His kingdom and that we will serve faithfully and try to perfect our lives. It would be important to keep promises if we made them with other people on earth, but when we make promises and covenants with the Lord, they are solemn and very sacred and we must not fail to keep them. To return to the temple often keeps us reminded of our promises. We get our own endowments the first time we go through the temple and never need to go again for that specific purpose, but we do return to the temple frequently and each time we represent someone else and do the work for them—people who died when the Gospel and the Church were not on the earth and who did not have the chance to live all the principles of the Gospel. In the spirit world they can think and believe and develop faith and repent of their sins but since Baptism and the confirmation and the endowments and sealings are earthly ordinances performed by physical beings, that work must be done here, so we represent the dead person and do their work for them and if they accept it, they may move forward in their progress and eventually become like God and be perfect and receive all the blessings that we can receive.
It is not difficult to understand how one person can act for another. It is done all the time in our mortal life. The Governor, the Senator, the President of the United States represents us, the voters. The attorney represents his client in the courts. The mother gives life to her baby, something it never could do for itself. So this proxy work is real and proper.
As you go through the temple you will catch a glimpse of the eternities; of the world before we came here, of this mortal life, and of the life after death. You will see clearer the relationships between us and our ancestors and our posterity and between us and our Heavenly Father. Much of this will be portrayed in talks and in acting [now a slideshow] by people in the temple who will represent leading lights in the worlds history. Much of this is symbolic. Like the flag is symbolic of a great country. When we salute the flag we are not saluting cloth, red cloth, blue cloth, or white cloth. We are saluting the greatest country on earth, a land of freedom and opportunity. So the flag represents the country with all it means to us. Some of that which you will see and hear is like that. A symbolic representation to clarify in our minds as much as possible deep truths which can best be explained that way.
Now, Mary, I promise you that if you go into the program with your whole heart with an earnest desire to come to understand fully the purpose and meaning of it all, it will someday be a glorious thing to you and you will love it. One could criticize the program or the method of its presentation or the people who do their best to properly portray it, but that would not make one happy. If each of us goes into the temple to learn all we can and to do all the good we can by helping someone else who cannot help themselves then it will be pleasant to us.
Now you have in store for you a rich privilege and blessing and opportunity. Here you can spend many days of your remaining years of your life, whenever you feel like it. You can do as much good in the temple as I can do, or as even the President of the Church can do, for each of us is limited to doing the work for one person each session.
After you have been through with an interpreter a few times, you will come to memorize the program so that you can follow through yourself without help.
The garments again are symbolic. We do not make cloth sacred. But the white garment signifies purity of life and the marks, secret though they be, remind us constantly of our promises of righteousness. We could resist the wearing of them and be annoyed by them or we can consider them and the wearing of them a privilege and let them keep us constantly reminded of our blessings and our opportunities and our obligations.
Because of the sacredness of the whole program we do not usually discuss it outside of the temple but we may talk freely about all phases of the ordinances while we are within. So if you have questions which you do not seem to understand after going a few times, I will go with you and Cammila and your friends and we can remain a while in the temple and discuss those things which are not wholly clear. I suggest that if there is anything which is not clear, that you do not resist it but hold it and wait till we have a chance to clear [it up]. Often times things which seem so difficult are beautiful when proper explanations are made.
I am sure that your Mother and Father will be happy about your securing your endowments and each time you go to bless others. We are all most proud of you.
May the Lord bless you and help you to get all the joy, satisfaction and peace from this program.
Faithfully,
Spencer [W. Kimball]
